Normalising Sex

As I’m sure most of you know by now, one of the things I have always been outspoken about is what you might call the normalisation of sex. In short, society’s taboos surrounding sex are without any basis in logic or fact, and are also extremely unhealthy, both physically and psychologically. I will have more to say about those psychological effects in a future article, but for now, I’d like to bring your attention this story regarding the physical side of things—it really brought a smile to my face!

There have already been well-supported scientific studies which indicate that regular masturbation can significantly reduce the prevalence of prostate cancer in men, and regular sex has been linked to better cardiovascular health (as it is a completely natural yet also vigourous form of exercise). So it is refreshing to see sex education moving beyond the silly “sex without pleasure” mentality that it has been mired in for far too long now (no doubt due to traditional Christian ideas on sex), to let teenagers know how pleasurable sex can be. The idea is that sex should actually be encouraged, as it is good for our health and well being. Furthermore, it is believed that if women in particular were better educated about the pleasure they can derive from sex, they will be more inclined to be more assertive in their sexual encounters, and as such more likely to insist upon safe sexual practices.

This initiative has lead to predictable criticisms that it will lead to more underage sex, but as this article says, teenagers don’t suddenly become sexual at 18—many (perhaps most) already engage in underage sex anyway, so it seems to me that it is best if they know as much about it as possible.

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At least the article provoked discussion. People’s view of history tends to be so myopic. The generation that grew up in the 70′s think they ‘invented’ the so-called ‘Sexual Revolution,’ but that’s only because they don’t know enough about the ‘Roaring 20′s’ and the ‘flappers.’ If they had a clue about what Grandma got upto, they’d die. Social organisations have tried to control sex, and thereby control people, and religious institutions in particular have been guilty of this, and I include communism and fascism in this category.

  
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I do believe that having an orgasm a day is important to cycle those body fluids…and hopefully prevent future prostate problems.

Thank you Sachiko for helping me in this process with your beautiful photos.

  
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You are very welcome MrSoul. :-)

  
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There is little I can add to what you have all said here.
I agree that the religious organisations are the principal offenders in suppressing sexual activity.

They are the real ‘sex offenders.’

  
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Imagine a world where instead of institutions trying to repress, demonize, legislate, and punish sexual activity, sexual freedom was as natural as any other bodily function. A healthy sex life is as paramountly important in our daily lives as breathing, eating, working, and sleeping. As long as sex is responsible, consensual, private, and disease free it poses no threat to anyone and makes for a much more relaxed and healthy society.

If sex workers the world over were legitimized, protected, health regulated, and given the social status of professional social workers, health therapists, entertainers, etc., the underground black market in trafficking, slavery, abuse, drug addiction, torture, and murder would be substantially reduced both for adults and children.

The healthy acceptance of sex as a normal function in our lives could revolutionize marriage and reduce the near 50% failure rate. The age old mismatching of individuals with different sexual needs, and the most abominable act of “prostitution”, that of withholding sex within a marriage for power and personal gain could be eliminated. Marriage, if it would exist at all, could become simply a legal contract sanctioned by the state, for people to responsibly raise children.

Imagine sex being elevated to such a socially accepted healthy norm that you could get a college degree as a sex worker and be a respected and loved member of any community.

P.S. The above is not one of my usual attempts at social humour or satire. It is meant to mean quite serious.

  
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I couldn’t agree more with what you say here Robert – in fact you’ve pre-empted a lot of what I’ve been intending to write on this subject in the future.

  
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Dear Sachiko,

But I think marraige is a very important and serious bond. So, if prostitution is leglized than our people’s ( i am not married yet)marraiges would be weakend-up. AIDS is also spread through prostitution rampantly and the one of the ways to end it is by ending prostitution as its proven scientifically that condoms don’t give 100% full protection from promiscuous sexual partner. Now how to justify that?

  
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Hi Anurag,

When prostitution is legally regulated, they undertake regular health checks and are required by law to only engage in safe sex . In Australia (where prostitution is legal), people catch STDs far more frequently from their own partners than they do from prostitutes (because people are more likey to have unprotected sex with their partner). The only form of sex that is 100% safe is masturbation.

As for marriage, prostitution actually helps to preserve it. Men almost always want sex more than women do, and they like to play around. Without prostitution, they are far more likely to have affairs to release these urges, but with prostitution, men can just pay for it and get it out of their system without getting emotionally attached to another woman, so their marriage can continue unaffected.

  
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@Sachiko – Well spoken Sachiko. I think that marriage is so universally institutionalized, as was slavery not too long ago, that it is hard for many individuals to truly understand the concept of sexual freedom. Closed marriages often resemble certain aspects of slavery and, of course promote and perpetuate jealousy which is the most dangerous of human emotions. I did not know that prostitution was legal in Australia. Do you also have universal health care like Canada?

  
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“the silly “sex without pleasure” mentality that it has been mired in for far too long now (no doubt due to traditional Christian ideas on sex)”

Correction: espoused by Christians, but based on traditional Jewish ideas on sex. They are, after all, the ones who popularized circumcision. If there is a better way to take the fun out of sex, I wouldn’t know.

  
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Hi Sachiko,

I just found your page and your blog and I really like it. Your photos are beautiful and I like it very much how you link together and express your many talents.

This is something I really miss elsewhere, to see the woman´s sexual side AND all her talents and personality.

I wanted to ask you about the differences in sexuality you can think of between the western world and the asian cultures you know (since you have written sth. about taboos and so on).

(Of course there are differences between the western countries. I am for instance very glad to have a european cultural background and not an american one when it comes to sexuality :)
Many views which originated from Anglo-American puritanism and still dominate this culture are more or less strange or even destructive in my opinion).

Personally I am somehow really attracted to asian women (Japanese for instance) Do you perhaps have some advice how to approach an asian woman without making mistakes? And how to know whether she likes you or not?

Nice greetings!
Alex

  
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“Prostitutes without borders”–it has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?

Seriously, though, while I am in general agreement with what you are saying, I do think that the vast majority of thinkers through the ages who have advocated “natural” and “unrepressed” sexuality never imagined what would happen to it when commercialism and for-profit corporations were allowed to mine this area for all of it is worth. I rarely get through a work day without some spam trying to make me insecure about my potency or penis size.

More importantly, the porn industry is shaping and distorting sexuality itself. Since monogomous couples coupling in the dark is boring and not very cinematic, we get very different images that are widely available on the internet. Not tasteful like yours, but just plain vulgar and sensational. Teenage girls are increasingly under pressure to perform oral, anal and whatever. The result, ironically, is that we are as far away from “natural” sex as we ever were–and much closer to the Brave New World of Aldous Huxley’s novel.

Call me old-fashioned but I would be kind of disappointed to see pictures of Sachiko taking you know what up the you know what and with you know what all over her face. And don’t kid yourself–the more “freedom” there is for commercial forces to shape and influence sexuality, the more it will change people’s sexuality in a way that will conform to the requirements of commercial and corporate exploitation of said sexuality.

In other words “free” does not equal “natural”. And if it is “normal” it is a new normal, not a “natural” one.

  
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Well trying to debate what is normal or natural at any given time period is pretty much a waste of time, since it is as individual as taste. It may be true that commercial and peer-pressure exploitation does affect a certain nonthinking segment of the population(tattos, piercings, cigarette and controlled substance consumption, etc.), but ruling out those sheep, humans who control their own brain and are not affected by advertising and peer pressure should be able to decide for themselves about their own sexuality. They should not be dictated to by other individuals, groups, or governments. The use of religion to dictate sexual mores has gone hand-in-hand with trying to dominate and control every aspect of peoples lives. What has been more distructive to human health than Rome dictating NO BIRTH CONTROL and NO MARRIAGE FOR CLERGY?

  
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@Robert – Yes, Australia does have universal health care – and a really wonderful thing it is too!

@sagredo – I’ve always found Jews’ attitude toward sex very curious – after all, Freud was a Jew, and what show other than Seinfeld would have an (utterly hilarious!) episode devoted to masturbation?

@Alex – Welcome to my blog Alex, and thanks for your compliments and appreciation of what I do. Unfortunately though, answering your questions will require another post or two to itself. Stay tuned!

@Mark Crawford – At the end of the day, we still have the freedom to do – and pay for – what we choose. For example, you will never see me in the scene you mention, because I choose not do hardcore. Not that there’s anything wrong with hardcore at all – it just isn’t the right style for me.

  
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@Robert – Once again, I couldn’t agree more.

  
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While this is somewhat off subject, I would like to mention that the health care debate here in the U.S. is overwhelmingly controlled by Industry Lobbyists who have actually produced a commercial for TV that portrays a Canadian Citizen telling how bad her health care is. Every actual Canadian I have spoken to says the opposite. It reminds me of the scare tactics used by Cheney and Bush. I have no health insurance because it is unaffordable. I also hold no hope for a pragmatic, efficient plan to come out of Congress, since they are all in the deep pockets of the Industry.

  
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@Anurag – “one of the ways to end [AIDS] is by ending prostitution”… Um, there are plenty of other ways to get AIDS; prostitution is far from being the biggest factor.

  
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BY the way, I am a Canadian citizen and I have studied healthcare systems around the world. The ad campaign against healthcare reform in the US is misleading on several different levels. In the first place, the number of Canadians who are so sick of waiting lists that they go to the US is miniscule compared to the number of Americans who are uninsured–or the number of Americans who go north on “drug vacations” to buy cheaper medicine. Secondly, the fact that the Canadian Supreme Court required minimum wait list times isn’t an indictment of the system–it is just an example of how judicial review has helped to improve the system. Thirdly, it’s all a red herring anyway because Obama isn’t talking about a Canadian system –just about moving from a system of unmanaged competition (which is good for insurance companies and pharmaceuticals and few others) to a system of managed competition.

Although Australia’s “two-tier” system isn’t great from a Canadian perspective, (since the research shows that waiting lists and quality of care in Australia actually are not improved in areas where the private system is allowed, since the private system siphons off doctors,) the Australian system would still be a huge improvement for the United States. Simply extend the public Medicare and Medicaid systems in America to the 50 million or so who are now uninsured, and then let the rest buy better service from a managed private system. TO denigrate that as “socialism” is just plain silly.

  
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Thank you Mark for your input. Mud slinging for profit is a very dirty game.
I have heard nothing but good things about HC systems in Iceland, Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Germany, Italy, Australia, and Canada. I also do not consider socialism to be a dirty word. It is currently used by opponents to HC Reform as communism was used during the Cold War and the McCarthy Era witch hunts. Normalization of sex and healthcare for all would go a long way to reduce STDs, promote birth control, and relieve the extreme anxiety too many Americans have to live with.

  
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We have successfully changed the topic! But to get back to sex for a moment–I do wish that the private domain was a little more insulated from the commercial and technological forces shaping childrens’ sexuality. That is not a plea for censorship, since that won’t work in an internet age anyways (adolescent males are probably the most tech-savvy group in the population!) It is simply a lament for a time when all we needed was a tattered 1971 Playboy in the tree house to get our jollies–we could get our thrill , but it was very much on the margins of our lives. Hard core (at least in Canada when I was a child) was pretty much out of public domain, although adults could (with some effort) obtain it.

In other words, our sexuality wasn’t being shaped by commercial forces to anything like the extent that they are today.

  
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Sachiko might be well served to acquire a certain collectors’ item that might not frequently be in print in the coming years:

“The Sensuality of Strength” by Gayle Olinekova (a prominent fitness model and trainer who died young in a recent year). I ordered my copy from Amazon-Canada last year. The book is short and wonderfully illustrated, and not hard to get through.

I think the book says quite a lot to develop, embolden, and make practical the concept that Sachiko has introduced to us as “normalisation of sex”. One might not wholly agree with my take on that, but I think, at least, that it makes an interesting and upbeat connection for the imagination in the “normalisation” train of thought.

  
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Thanks alcove6409 – I’ll check this book out.

  
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